I think I should kill my family now...
posted to the public
at 11:13 AM on Thursday Jun 7, 2012
Love the title. This has nothing to do with it. It brings attention. Since you're here, I want to inform you on the the huge mass I've typed out while intoxicated. I ranted about random things on this keyboard that sometimes won't separate words correctly. I didn't acknowledge separating this into paragraphs, I just typed and typed.
I ended up reading it later on, and it was rather interesting. I cared not for misspelling or grammar issues, I just typed down what I wanted to remember later on. This is random information that pops into my head while intoxicated.
Music is playing as of now. The information I may type may be altered due the fact that this computer's keyboard's isn't well tooken care of. Now I must explain the ways of my head. I want to record this, I want to remember what'sgoing on. I'm going to type this down, copy it and paste it somewhere so that I don't lose this. I wonder how many characters I can fit into this. As you can tell, my head is thinking already not being insane, not out of control as some may think, I am intoxicated. I just came back inside from a ciggarette. My body seems to be calming down, and the effect is wearing off. So I must record allof this before it's too late. Now, the subject I want to explain that other's can't seem to comprehend is my ability to control myself while I'm intoxicated. It seems as if it's a very biased subject. Meaning, when this is brought into the conversation, they'll think of you as worthless, they'll thinkof you as just a drunk, but I'm typing this all down to clear that up, well in a sense, clear that up for me, myself only. Now, I've only had as much as to be able to function as I wish, not typsy, as others would say, but just a feel for the information that's leading my head to believe that something is altered, and I may be unlocking a secret of myself, just doing this is allowing me to understand myself better, allowing me to comprehend things about myself that other's have a hard time figuring out. I hear a lotof talk on that fact that people can't seem to understand themselves better, well as of now, I'm as you can say "Ranting" about what I understand now. I'm in a state of mind that opens the locked doors that my head won't dare to open while I'm sober. Or should I say "won't think of opening" I see people acting as if they lost control, they can't think straight, they can't do things well, I can type perfectly fine, and I'm able to function as I wish. In that being said, I don't think you should look down on me, I don't think that I should be the one labeled as a drunk or nonsense. Because in this state of mind, I can ensure you that what pops into my head, you won't be able to think of it, and when you do, the thoughts will make you seem to look at things in a different perspective. Yes, I'm telling you that I can think better than you while I'm drunk, is that insulting? It shouldn't be because I have explained what happens when I am. So you should be think "alright" he's fine" not "he's only doing this because he wants attention, I can think a lot better than this drunk". Well I hate to break it to you, because you can't and you won't be able to reach the information that's givin to me. I don't think I'm more intelligent when I'm drunk, I actually know this as a fact. I'm going to read this to myself later on and see for sure. Seeing as I can take control of my mind, my opinion on what I'm typing will stay make sense. Anyways, as of now, sad to say, I'm blocked, I'm not reaching what I want, I can't see it anymore, and that was the reason for being intoxicated in the first place. I wanted to be enlightened. But it seems as if it was a one time thing, that's all. I've been thinking, and the side affects to being intoxicated is rather strange. I feel very sensitive. My senses are hightened, yet I'm numb, I can't feelpain as good as I should. I kind of like that, but It's not good. I wonder if everyone feels the same. Yes, I call this my drunk diary. Depending on who I show it to might think I've gone insane, I need to stop telling people what runs in mind before I end up in Shadow Mountain myself. I'm not crazy, It's not my fault I can see my ability, but you can't find yours yet. Let's see what else is going on in my head. I need something to focus on, I'm feeling less intoxicated. It's going away. This whole time I've only been explaining things on myself nothing of anything regarding to a new aspect of the world. I've been getting annoyed pretty lately for the fact that the mindset of others won't open their head and understand what I'm trying to explain, or when I tell them they change the subject very quickly with a small responce as if they don't care, the information I'm handing to them is a gift, something I think is special, something I think will help them open their head to a better reality, yet they disregard it quickly and piss on it. What inbred mortals, throwing away usefull information. sad. I'm not feeling as much as an angry despitefull person as I was. I'm feeling much better. Now, I can affectionetly make one feel better as I talk to them, depending on who it is. I don't feel as if I have to be so serious when telling this out, yet you have to because this is almost as bad as trying to explain to someone a conspiracy, it's hard altogether. I've noticed that some of the songs I see show so much poetry, I hate poetry yet you need it so I don't mind it too much. But they act as if we can read their mind on their immature and selfish problems and we understand it as they do. I do not care for it, what brings me to music is the instruments, I could care less of the singer."