As of late, it feels like I cannot win at all.  My peformance at the last couple of online tournaments have been horrible.  I would lose in the first round, maybe win in the second, and if I made it to the third round, I would then be decimated.  What is the cause of this downward spiral?  The answer is frustration.

As a competitor, I want to be the best.  I want people to know that when it is their turn to face me, they will know that they are in for a fight.  I want to have that mental advantage before the match begins.  Of course, in order to be the best, you have to win.  If you are not winning, then you are not the best.  The problem for me is that I allowed myself to become too focused on winning.

If I made a mistake, I would then get frustrated.  If my opponent was outplaying me, I would then get frustrated.  If there was a hint of button delay or lag, I would get frustrated.  If I lost, I would definately get frustrated.  Everything that happened against me caused me to get frustrated.  I would scream and curse.  I would get the urge to punch something.  Oh yeah, I still had to play more matches. 

Why would things, both big and small, get on my nerves?  That's because I was setting goals way to high.  Every tournament that I entered, I had to win.  Every opponent that I had to face, I had to destroy them.  I had to be perfect.  No mistakes. Each time I did not meet one of these goals, it fed the monster within.  The monster being frustration.  And once that monster came out of its shell, I lost my focus on the match.  It was like I just jumped into quicksand.

We all know what quicksand is.  In the movie "The Replacements", the main character explains what quicksand is.  Everything is fine, until something bad happens.  Then more bad things begin to happen.  Finally, you just end up being over your head.  In other words, quicksand.  Frustration was that quicksand.

Yes I want to win, but if I let myself get frustrated when something does not go my way, then I already have lost.  I know that now.  I am not going to win every tournament that I enter.  I am not going to 3 stock every opponent.  Expecting those goals will only lead to frustration. 

When someone says that you are your own worst enemy, they speak the truth.  The enemy could be doubt, hopelessness, or even frustration.  At one point, we must all face that enemy.  Mine is frustration.  If I am going to beat my frustration, then I must realize that winning is not everything.  How are you going to defeat your own worst enemy?