Quote (originally posted by
CinatoastB3):
I dont know what i wanna do with my life. I was gonna do nursing, but theres too much **** to go through and it doesn't make me happy at all, except for when the person smiles and is thankful. Im thinking of going to do graphics design, because I really like it, or computer science, but im worried my parents are gonna be like all disappointed and ****.
This is like whats on my mind all day lately. It's affecting my social life and I can't talk to nobody in person because im kind of new in my city and don't have like that real friend connection with nobody here yet.
Then I watched the anime Welcome to NHK! and that made me even more depressed, because wut if i end up like that? Like I wish i was like dead right now, but im not suicidal at lol dont get me mixed up with that. I just wish i was dead, magically. Currently, Im watching Ano Hana and it's also somewhat depressing lol maybe its the animes I watch.
I've also been having so much homework and am so glad i'm done next week, but I don't know what i'm gonna do next. This uncertainty in my life is killing me. The only things keeping my mind off everything is when I go to the park and play basketball. I dont know I just wish something would happen to me. I know I may sound like a whining ***** and others are probably dealing with way more stuff than me. I just need to put this in writing and get some of this metaphorical **** out of my head.
story of my life, ahah.
I have the same career ideas and i fear my parents won't appreciate me as much. not to mention I feel so unaccomplished for my age. But then again I'm not even in high school yet.
I also feel exactly the same way about death. Dying sounds very peaceful, lulz. I'm not suicidal, but being dead would be so much easier, ahahh.
none of the kids in my family have any social standing whatsoever except for my parents cause they're all business and the such. I'm practically an insomniac because of how anxious i am about my future, like if i'll find a soulmate, live a happy life, support a family and be a grandparent. but currently my main concern is schooling. despite my lack of grammar in this post I'm actually much more bright than other people in my classes. I don't worry
too much about a social life, but then again I'm always so lonely, ah. :F
i just finished the Vampire Knight series and Ouran and tbh I feel even worse. i should lay off romance for now.