So, here we are: week six. And unlike my favorite television
series ever, I’m still kicking.
Yes, I’m referring to Arrested
Development, which, in case you haven’t noticed, is in this week’s title.
No, there are no plans for an Arrested Development videogame (though wouldn’t
that be awesome?). Rather, I’ll be looking into the new generation of kids
raised by TV sets and computer games, as this is very quickly becoming a
legitimate concern among the older generations that run the place. Are kids
getting fat because they can’t stop playing their games and go outside? Are
children’s young minds getting warped due to gory games that their parents
choose to buy them? Is carpel tunnel syndrome a real problem or do a few
pansies need to suck it up? I’ll touch all the bases (if you catch my drift).
All that, plus a super extended mailbag, your BTWSSSotW
(man, that’s a long one) award winner, and this week’s games that love being on
top. You don’t want to miss seeing this- it’s the biggest one yet!
---
A Tribute to Arrested
Development: A look inside the real “arrested
development”
So, for those of you that are completely lost on this two
word combo I keep using, the term “arrested development” can be referring to
one of three things:
-
an abnormal state in which development has stopped
prematurely
-
an Emmy-winning television series that ran on FOX from
2003-2006, only to be stopped prematurely as it was developing into a cult hit
-
a Grammy-winning hip hop group that sued the
aforementioned show for copyright infringement, only to have its case stopped
prematurely in its development and then mockingly satired in the show’s 11th,
35th and 42nd episodes
Just ignore the third one. All they ever did was release three
top ten singles way back in 1992 and appear on some reality TV show for washed
up musical artists, also starring Vanilla Ice and A Flock of Seagulls (the show
only lasted five weeks in the States, proving that things involving the phrase
“arrested development” truly are not meant for public television).
Now, before I move on with the actual meat of the article
(reasons why you kids may need to go outside and play), I’m going to rejoice for a
moment. You see, this article’s title and constant bringing up of the cancelled
show Arrested Development are being
made for a reason: There
will be an Arrested Development movie.
Yes, yes, after two years’ worth of rumors (in the show’s final episode, its
creator, Mitchell Hurwitz, blatantly hinted at a movie in the waning seconds of
the show), it’s finally really happening. Hurwitz and executive producer, Ron
Howard, have signed a deal to make a feature film through Fox Searchlight and
Imagine. Sure, a script isn’t written quite yet and Michael Cera is
being a little douche, but the entire cast minus Cera is reportedly more
than interested in a big screen adaptation, the only real issue now being
money. So, in honor of this historic moment, I’ll be making as many A.D.
references as I can in this week’s article. My goal is thirty. Exceedingly
high, I know, but my army training tells me that this is going to be a hot mission (-1).
That one didn’t count (0).
So, back to definition number one: it’s a term used to
describe a case where a person’s (usually a child or adolescent) personal
development, whether psychological or physical, is stopped or severely hindered
due to some circumstance [geez, that’s a long definition; you, sir, are a
mouthful! (1)]. The circumstance is
not necessarily always an outside force, however. Many times, it comes about
from continued habits or inner workings of the mind overtaking other valuable
motivations.
[tl;dr version: something messes you up, so you stop growing
mentally or physically for some reason.]
The reason that this could potentially be a problem in our
country- assuming you’re in the States, like me- is that your average American
young adult is in a perpetual state of adolescence, a.k.a. arrested development
[hey, that’s the name of the show!](2).
But what causes this inner fountain of youth in our culture, and is it even a
cause for concern? Well, you’re in luck, because I just happen to be both a
successful analyst and therapist,
making me the world’s first true analrapist (3). And as an analrapist, I know just what’s going on with kids
these days.
See, kids are kids. It’s a fact of life. You cannot expect
someone to act older than they really are, even though on rare occurrences a
prodigy strolls along acting like a big shot and becoming mayor of a town at
18, even if it was off of a dare. Anyway, my point is that when you’re six
years old, you act like you’re six years old, give or take. That’s normal.
Being expected of more- or less- than that can possibly be detrimental to a
youth’s maturation, and sadly, it’s all too easy to do when parents are
inexperienced. Whether it’s forcing one’s child to go to an overly difficult
boarding school that he isn’t prepared for or letting that child live in your
basement until he’s thirty, parents’ philosophies do, in fact, have a lot of
say in how their children grow up psychologically.
Now, for the sake of eventually bringing this argument
around to videogames, I’ll ignore the
overly-supportive-to-the-point-of-suffocation types of parents that ‘emo’ kids
love to imagine and complain about. Instead, I’m going to focus on the parents
that raise their kids not on too tight of a leash, but rather, on no leash at
all- or even worse, they wrap the leash around their own neck and hand the
other end to their child. Don’t get what I mean? Well, allow me to take off my
assistant skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand- in The Prince of Tides- ass-masking therapist pant-suit (4) for a moment. Here’s a scenario:
You’re the parent. You have a wonderful little boy named
Billy. Say, “Hi, Billy!” Now, little Billy wants the newest Bomberman game.
Simple right? Well, what would you think if he didn’t actually work for the
game? No chores, no job (due to child labor laws, but whatever, you get my
point), no extra effort on school work or extra curriculars... Basically, he
just wants it. And it’s not Christmas, either. Well, he’s just a kid, so no
harm in getting him something to make him happy, right? Now add to all that the
fact that he also wanted the new Pokèmon game last week, and you got him that.
The week before that, he wanted the new Guitar Hero, and you got him that. Last
month you even got him the super special, limited edition pre-order for double
the price version of Sonic the Hedgehog. You got him that. Do you get him this
new game on top of all of that? You may be laughing, but I know parents who say
yes. All too often.
But let’s step away from parents who spoil their children. I
mean, it’s not like giving them a few extra toys is going to hurt them, right?
Even if its going to hurt your debt, that little smile is just so worth it,
huh? Well, instead of looking at it financially, let’s look at it from a
different point of view: how much do you let little Billy play his super cool
videogame that you so kindly gave him but totally did not spoil him with? An
hour a day? Multiple hours a day? So much that the only time you really see him
is when he comes down for food? Do you ground him for playing it too much, even
though he’s done nothing wrong? Do you just let him do as he pleases and tell
yourself it’s a phase that he’ll grow out of?
Heh, you probably didn’t think something as simple as
videogames could raise so many difficult choices for your parent, did you?
Well, I’m guessing that about 99.9% of my readers are not parents, so let’s
shift perspective. What’s going to happen to little Billy when he becomes teen
Billy? Or big Billy? What will those videogames do to him growing up? It’s hard
to say. Everybody is different, and everybody’s situation is different.
However, for the sake of the article, I’m going to over-generalize a bit. Bear
with me.
There are a few different types of negative outcomes that
could arise from playing too many videogames in your younger days. And they
are:
-
Lack of
interpersonal skills development. This is probably the worst, but also the
easiest to avoid. We all know the stereotype: a scrawny, awkward, seemingly
albino nerd who can own at a videogame or fix a computer with a paperclip and a
wad of bubblegum, yet can’t get a date for the homecoming dance all four years
of high school or nail a job interview to save his life. It’s an unfair
stereotype, but some people fit it all too well. Is this a result of closing
themselves off to a TV/computer screen in their room throughout those essential
developing years? Could they have developed better people skills to prepare
them for the real world had they gotten out and seen the sunshine more often
growing up? Should we even be
questioning who they’ve turned out to be; are they fine? Lots of questions, not
lots of easy answers. But if a parent really wants to scare her child away from
the sofa the easy way, I suggest just hiring a one-armed man to stage some
elaborate scheme to scare the child from both playing videogames and fake
appendages. “...and that’s why you don’t play videogames.” (5)
-
Problems with
health/obesity. Yeah, the all too familiar gripe about Americans: we’re
fat. We’re slobs who survive off of fast food and pills. Sure, it’s not 100%
true (plus, some people couldn’t care less if they’re a little pudgy; who’s to
judge?), but there is a noticeable
increase in the average weight of American citizens. Not only that, but there’s
a considerable difference between this generation and the older generations in
general regarding health- trust me, I hear about it from my dad and grandpa all
the time. Years ago, people would go outside. They’d go to the YMCA. They’d
play basketball every other night, and football the nights in between. There
weren’t videogames to sit and play on all night. There weren’t computers to sit
and play on all night. They even walked uphill both ways to school in six foot
deep snow (okay, that part’s obviously a lie). But basically, back then, if you
wanted to sit and play, you got a board game or a girlfriend. With the average
lifestyle of kids and teens becoming less and less active, do we need to worry
about this generation’s health moving forward? Health care coverages are
already bad enough; we don’t need to add people to the waiting list.
-
Immaturity/lack
of a feeling of responsibility. This one is a little bit of a stretch, but
hear me out. Without the increases in technology in the entertainment industry
and our apparent dependence on it, the growing youth would have less to
distract themselves from “real life” with, less to waste money and work on, and
more time to use towards more important things like securing one’s financial
future, establishing important person-to-person relationships, etc. Again, it’s
not like these good things are impossible to reach if you play lots of
videogames, but we all know someone (possibly ourselves) that just seems to be
throwing his life away sitting in front of his TV screen with a controller in
hand. Videogames can become an unhealthy
addiction if left unchecked, and can definitely hinder a person’s growth in
maturity. Things like this are what lead to living in your parents’ basement by
the time you’re thirty. Do we really want to be a generation full of juveniles whose
eyes have never stung from the sweet sweat of a hard day’s work? (6) You know what, don’t answer that
question; I don’t like sweat in my eyes either.
But am I taking this too seriously? Should I just take a
chill pill and relax? Or should I look at my own life before making judgments
about others? It’s possible. (That last part is 100% true, actually.) Every
generation has had its problems, and every generation swore the world was going
to end within their lifetime (see: “It’s the End of the World as we Know it
(and I Feel Fine)” by R.E.M. and “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel). But
when a guy like Clint $@#&ing Eastwood says
that America has gone soft, you tend to listen. Of course, America’s new
Pillsbury Dough Boy persona is not entirely due to videogames, but how much of
a fraction of the blame do they hold? I mean, really, what’s wrong with playing
Pokèmon Red past the legal drinking age?
Really, videogames themselves are not what’s to blame;
anyone who tries to blame videogame industries for daring to successfully
market their products to people who buy them is just looking for a scapegoat.
Rather, it’s the gamers themselves that are to blame if their lives don’t turn
out the way they want them to. It’s the parents’ fault if they didn’t do
anything to try and help their little addicted kid out. And, in a sense, this
article is completely and utterly useless, because every single person lives
his or her life in the way that he or she sees best- nothing anyone else can
say or do will change that, at least significantly. But there is most
definitely a change in attitude in this generation and the coming one, one that
stops the pains of the world with counseling sessions, pill bottles and forms of
self-expression that usually involve blood and/or lots and lots of black. Is
this what we want as a people? Survey says: “yes,” obviously, since we’re
already living that way. But will we be able to provide for ourselves as a
strong, stable and functional society, as our parents’ parents have, when this
generation grows older?
Survey says: “...we’ve made a huge mistake.” (7)
---
Mail Time!
So last week you guys set a new record for the number of replies
with 87! Great work everybody. As
your reward, I’m going to perform some... office
magic! (8) For my first
illusion, I shall make the number of mail replies multiply! How did I do it? A
magician never reveals his secrets (9).
Quote
(originally posted by Matty Dread):
I'd hate to destroy your hopes further. . .
but have you seen the TRAILER yet for Dragonball?http://movies.ign.com/dor/objects/479331/dragonball-evolution/videos/dragonball_int_trlrc_121108.html
. . . 0_0
Bored on MS paint. Made way more, but this is my favorite AKA the stupidest one
with the least effort. Funny how that effect can end up turning out the
greatest. . . >_>
This ridiculously awesome paint attempt really made me contemplate
making an “MS Paint image of the week” section. Maybe it’ll happen if you guys
keep making them...? *wink wink*
PS: I actually linked to that exact same page on the poster
image, plus that’s what I was referring to when I said I had “found” the news
of the movie; I’ve been following this movie for over a year now. But I
definitely should’ve made it more obvious that there was a link there... heh...
Whoops. Oh! Speaking of bad ideas and Soulja Boy...
Quote
(originally posted by TL_Volta):
the new soulja boy game is simply the next
game in the All Pro Football Series developed by 2K Sports. You'd know this if
you watched his newest music video "Bird walk". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZSnJIJDTNU
instead of only having fake teams, now they have fake teams and soulja boy.
Ah, forgive me. It’s sometimes hard to find information from
things I refuse to watch (although, I did watch it just for you- on mute).
Although, I truly hope you’re kidding, because I’ve always approved of the old
NFL 2K games over Madden, right up to the point that Brett Favre graced
Madden’s cover (‘bout time, right?). Now, enough about that wannabe artist in a
wannabe musical genre (just kidding... sort of), let’s get back to that movie
that vaguely resembles Dragonball...
Quote
(originally posted by WatermelonKirby):
Goku MUST be played by an Asian person!
The guy who plays Goku also has freaky eyes.
Are you kidding? All the saiyans look like white guys. It’s
like Japan is implying that although we white men are strong and corrupt,
getting amnesia and being raised by an old Asian dude can make us a positive
part of society again (also, we’d learn to fly, shoot lasers from our hands,
and save the world multiple times from bad guys that happen to be just strong
enough for us to overcome in a short amount of time through ridiculous amounts
of training, stalling and luck). Also, they seem to like blondes. Just a hunch.
Oh, and furries. That too.
Quote
(originally posted by SimaMatty):
I really hate to be a douche, but I seriously
can't let such ignorance slide especially when it's encouraged. Utterly
face palm inducing.
What you're describing is Dragon Ball Z...The movie is based off Dragon
Ball...Dragon Ball had much more story, better characters, and action sequences
that were more based on martial arts rather than just flying around ****ting
beams everywhere.
So please. If you're going to bash something, get it right and don't encourage it.
Dude, you’re totally stealing my face palm. I already had a
response ready for that reply! Ugh. Anyway, to respond to your response to that
response, the movie is sort of a fusion between Dragonball and DBZ, with
obvious flaws that match neither show: Goku isn’t a naïve, carefree manboy,
Roshi isn’t a perv, Bulma has brown hair, and Kame didn’t create the dragonballs.
Also, the original Dragonball did not have better characters, because it did
not have Bardock. I rest my case.
[PS: To Dacidbro’s response to this response to the other
response, you don’t have to watch more than one episode of each series to
realize their obvious differences. Come on! (10)]
Quote
(originally posted by QTx314159):
"What do the words "top",
"five", "coming" and "staindgrey" have in
common?"
"it may even suck harder than you expect it to"
"I did it just for you, buddy"
"...is being raped before my very eyes."
Staindgrey made me orgasm like seven times just now.
Heh... Staindgrey, you blowhard (11).
Quote
(originally posted by TheGlitchmaster):
Staind, you're pretty good.
That Staind is some kind of something. Boy, this Staind is
all anybody's ever talking about. So sick and tired of hearing about how
brilliant that Staind is. Overrated. (12)
Quote
(originally posted by Mage):
DragonBall?
i think i just puked a little...
but, on the same subject, have you ever thought that the armored core series
can easily make for a very watchable anime series? it would definitely beat
some of the gundam series IMO...
Also Staindgrey, I have to say I'm a little bit disappointed this time around,
it just didn't seem to me like you were making much of an effort in this one...
still great, but ill give it only an "A" this time whereas before it
was always "A+"... it was just so small this time you know?
I’ll be honest: I have never once played Armored Core (but I loved
Virtual
On; is that close?). But if it were to become an anime, I’d put money on it
not being better than Gundam Wing. G Gundam, probably, but no other show
involving giant robotic suits could beat a show involving Heero Yuy. That guy
is the definition of B.A.
Also, if that last part was meant to be a TWSS setup... I
refuse. “She” always says I’m better than that. On a serious note, I made it a
tad shorter so I wouldn’t scare off the tl;dr people this time; I originally
was planning on looking into movies-to-videogames as a follow up, but it was
getting long enough as it was. Apparently, it worked, since I jumped from 18
reviews the week before last to over 80 this past week, but don’t worry; I
won’t sell out to the casuals like SOME people... Anyway, I made it longer this
time just for you. [Side note: Holy crap, it’s like everything I say somehow involves
some sort of innuendo! I can’t lose my readers for looking like a pervert! This
blows.]
Quote
(originally posted by Dacidbro):
Man, I swear it just gets bigger and longer
every time I see it..
Are you sure this is even the same thing as last week, cause it looks
completely different now, like it underwent some kind of crazy plastic
surgery...
Oh well, I always enjoy it, even if I can barely fit it into my-
busy schedule.
Oh shutup. You already won your badge. Although, you
probably nailed more in that one go than I could’ve if I tried all night, so
maybe we’re better off with me being businesslike and you being the good time
useless party guy (13). Seems to
have worked for us so far, so why switch positions? I’m on top of things here.
Best “That’s What She
Said” Setup of the Week
I know some of you females might be thinking, “This
objectification of women has got to stop!” (14)
But come on. It’s just your mom and whores (15).
Anyway, thanks to all the attempts to satisfy my craving, I’ll be continuing
the BTWSSSotW badge competition from now on. I’ll try to not let the joke take
over my article (past this one week), so don’t worry, young ones and working
ones alike; I’ve got it covered.
Now, let me clarify what a “setup” means: If you say
something that immediately gives me the need to shout, “That’s what she said!”
[or to simply learn the ways of the secular flesh (16)], that is a setup.
Saying “that’s what she said” to one of my obvious setups, although worth a
chuckle, will not get you a badge. Also, be sure to note that it should be
“that’s what she said,” not he. There’s a difference here. Plus, only
replies to the article itself will be accepted, so don’t go filling up my inbox,
‘kay? With that being said, here are
our finalists:
Quote
(originally posted by Bwessel09):
Very nice job, it was better than the last guy
who did that. Please, do it again.
This one’s pretty good, but I’ve seen better.
Quote
(originally posted by Sy.):
The Ugly should be proud of his big long
sword.
How can one have a big, long sword and still be ugly? Also,
it’s a girl. I think.
Quote
(originally posted by GHNeko):
It's going to be hu...hell. What am I saying?
It IS huge. Huge amounts of fail, yes, but Yea. It's huge.
Without the fail, this would be a winner. (I guess that rule
can apply to all of life. Even the Soulja Boy videogame... nah, that’s exempt.)
Quote
(originally posted by FireMario149):
Yea, half way through when you said "take
matters into their own hands" I was about to blow, then I really got into it.
But, I'll have to disagree joey. I thought it was long enough to get
the job done. It was kind of hard to get a hold of though.
Now, normally I would say this one would win. However, we
have a special acception this week. And so, the winner is:
Quote
(originally posted by Orfn):
I guess I just find it sad that so many people
are willing to suck your dick because you have a basic concept of common sense.
Due to this:
Quote
(originally posted by Orfn):
Don't cry, this is probably my last time here.
And this:
Quote
(originally posted by Orfn):
Also, lol at badgewhores.
It just made me so happy to give him a badge he really
deserved as a parting gift. Merry Christmas, Orfn! Love ya, buddy.
---
Top 5 games that
should make you a little buy-curious (17)
Yeah, 5/6 of these are downloaded games; all the good normal
disc games have already been mentioned and released early enough for Black
Friday. But it’s not like these aren’t games at all; we should be embracing new
technology. Oh, speaking of ‘should be embracing new technology’, yes, I put a
Nintendo-exclusive game in here despite the company’s snobby we-know-best
attitude towards its core fanbase. Ever since their new Wii thing started
selling like hotcakes on sliced bread, they’re all like, “Yeah, the guy wearing
the $4,000 suit is going to listen to the guy who doesn't make that in four
months? Come on! (18)” Boy, how
money has changed them. Jerks. Still, though, Sony isn’t much better these days
despite their lack of actual money [but remember: there’s always money in the
banana stand! (19)], and Microsoft
just likes to charge you for everything besides basic living essentials. It’s
all one, big conspiracy, I tell you. Why, if I didn’t have a live dove in my
pants right now, I’d... (20)
5) Mushroom Men: The
Spore Wars (Wii, DS) – Finally, after so many years of getting stomped on,
turned into potions, and eaten for extra lives- not to mention narcotic side effects-
the ‘shrooms of the world get to star in their own game for once. And judging
by the artwork, the creators were probably on ‘shrooms whiles making the game.
To enjoy it to its full potential, you should probably be on ‘shrooms while
playing it as well.
4) Sega Soccer Slam
(Xbox Live) – I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably looking at my
suggestion like a father looks at his son’s poor choice in a girlfriend:
“…her?” (21). But I’m telling you, get
yourself some Live points this Christmas and download this classic from last
generation. Soon as I saw that it was out, I immediately reminisced of younger
days, huddled around my friend’s Xbox and playing this goofy game. It’s no
Strikers, but it’s cheaper, it’s crazier, and it’s soccer.
3) Savage Moon (PSN)
– You defend your position from giant bugs. I don’t understand it at all.
Yet, somehow, I’m intrigued. If I had a PS3, should I buy it? My gut is telling
me no... but my gut is also very hungry (22).
I’d go ahead and do it.
2) Crash Commando
(PSN) – Putting a 2D shooter in a 3D environment with 16-bit generation
blood effects- lots of it; think Mortal Kombat with turbo buttons and no
blocking- sounds like a winner to me.
1) Sonic the Hedgehog
2 (Wii VC) – Oh my God. Sonic was fun back then? And you only have to play
as him and not half a million
not-so-fast annoying furry creatures throughout the whole game? And all this
time I thought I was supposed to just suffer through the game to figure out the
mediocre plot line and raise Chaos. I... I’m afraid I just blue myself (23).
Fair Mention: Meteos
Wars (Xbox Live) – If you’ve never played the original on the DS, think
Tetris... Extreme. It’ll be
interesting to see how the game is played without the touch screen, though.
What? You don’t want to waste your money on it? What are you... chicken? (24) Ha! Nah, I’m just playing with
you. If you don’t decide to buy it after I told you to, I won’t call you a
coward. There's only one man I've ever called a coward, and that's Brian Doyle
Murray (25).
---
The Good, the Bad,
and the Ugly
So, did you notice that I mentioned Clint Eastwood earlier?
Makes this section just seem to be more fitting, huh? Maybe I should try and do
that more often. I feel like Clint Eastwood’s name’s mere presence makes my
article just that much better. Perhaps I’ll make new recurring Clint
Eastwood-themed segments, titled, “A Fistfull of Dollars,” “In the Line of
Fire,” “For a Few Dollars More,” and, my personal favorite, “Dirty Harry.” An
article reeking of Clint Eastwood is an article reeking of pure awesome, so if
I decided to make a full article dedicated to the man, you should feel pretty
lucky. Do you feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?
THE GOOD: *MAIL BONUS
ROUND* Resident Evil: Degeneration
Is this a trick? Staindgrey brought in some more mail on top of his extended
mailbag? Well, I can assure you that this is no trick- a trick is something a
whore does for money (26). Besides,
I didn’t trick you, I deceived you.
“Tricked” makes it sound like we have a playful relationship (27). This is serious business, I
assure you; I am not “s”-ing around. (28) Got it? Good. Now that I’ve got that
cleared up [plus I knocked out three references in a row! I’m a monster! (29)] here’s your bonus mail for the
day:
Quote
(originally posted by AibanSama):
I have Resident evil degeneration and its good
movie but its not enough of what i want to see done in a RE movie but it works
if they plan to continue the movies this way. of course better as they keep
making em. =)
As soon as I saw this reply last week, I realized that the
movie was already out on torrents. So, I downloaded it. Here’s my review:
What AibanSama says is almost spot-on. It’s a great start,
and it’s already a million times better than what Hollywood came up with. It’s set a year after
Resident Evil 4, and it almost feels like a continuation of Resident Evil 2,
which is often regarded as the best in the series. There’s some fan service
done, such as how Claire and Leon
meet up, and there are also some new characters and villains thrown in to spice
things up. However, despite the promise and relative overall great work, it’s
not without its problems: the mouth syncing isn’t too great, at times the
urgency of the superb voice acting isn’t matched by characters’ physical reactions,
there are a few plot holes and Hollywood-esque action sequences, and Leon
totally kisses the wrong person, not to give any spoilers, but it definitely
pissed me off; my roommate was cracking up at my out-of-nowhere loud cussing at
my computer screen from across the hall.
Altogether, it was an enjoyable experience and a definite
treat. I felt like it very well could have been turned into a game, but Capcom
decided to condense it into a 90 minute film instead and focus the meat of
their department on Resident Evil 5 (which, by the way, has better graphics
than this movie, even though the movie beats out RE4, just to give you some
idea of where it stands visually). Leon’s
same voice actor from RE4 is brought in again, and he does such a perfect job
in successfully making Leon
the biggest B.A. in the series. All in all, the movie’s exceptional voice
acting (“Shoot ‘em in the
head.”) really shows how far the series has come since the very first RE
game was released (“I hope
it’s not... Chris’s blood!”). Ah,
the good ol’ days...
So, if you’re interested in watching this, go ahead and
Google “Resident Evil Degeneration torrent” and you’ll find it rather easily. I
should tell you to go buy it somewhere, but I’d be a tad bit hypocritical in
doing that. Although, if Capcom were to continue making their own movies like
this, they may want to widen their horizons a bit. You know, like maybe making
a zombie comedy, or an
epic zombie
fight scene between two of the series’ main heroes, or a zombie romance...
Oh! I’d totally buy something with a Jill/Chris
love scene! Definitely worth the money- if a Rebecca/Billy rendition weren’t
available, that is.
THE BAD: Sony, I’m Home!
You got some ‘splaining to do!
So, Sony’s “Home” project is finally out and available to
the masses. This has been in development for about as long as the PS3 has, and
promised a whole new way to interact with your fellow gamers. Sure, it’s new
and needs some more time to really be developed, but... Well, to get the same
experience in a better version, I propose that you either a) just go buy Second
Life, or b) go get a real life. After seeing IGN’s initial response to the
newfangled social networking system (“If I had to describe Home in one word, it
would be ‘boring’”, “PlayStation Home is dumb”, “Home is perhaps one of the
biggest mistakes that Sony has ever made”), I had to go find the one person I
knew who owns a PS3 just to try it out myself.
Yes. It was boring. At first, I thought those reporters may
have been overreacting a bit. I mean, it’s not meant to be an actual game
title; it’s just meant to be a casual way to meet friends and... stuff. However,
after close to ten minutes, I was done with it- which, oddly enough, was my
cousin’s exact same reaction after his first ten minutes of using it (we then
proceeded to play something fun: Madden ’09; that lasted longer than ten
minutes). Funny thing is, when that same cousin saw my brother’s Xbox 360 and
the “New Xbox Experience,” he thought it was pretty cool.
I suppose that Home isn’t a terrible idea; I mean, it’s all
free. However, it does seem, quite simply, like a waste of time. Why would I
want to walk around with my little me talking to people and playing cheap mini-games
(which would be much more fun with a Wii-mote, by the way) when I could just
pop in that game disc I paid for and have some real gaming fun? I’m not a PS3
owner, but if I was, I doubt you’d ever hear me say, “Hm. I could be playing
LittleBigPlanet, but the guys are hanging at the bowling alley in Home... I’m
so there.”
[Side note: Feel like having a good social networking site
without the boring-ness? Check out AllisBrawl and its affiliates. Just a
friendly reminder from your neighborhood Staindgrey.]
AND THE UGLY:
[hideous expression most likely a side effect of Teamocil] (30)
---
And now, your Moment
of Zen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq6-kY-Leps
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